Until “River Tam Beats Up Everyone!” hits the theaters, this will have to suffice.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

—And other smart-ass retorts to aphorisms

And eleven(ish) other ways to kill a Peep

It took some work, but my new business cards finally arrived [via Monoscope]

Imagine what the Japanese lap pillow will do for the upskirt phonecam market! [via the inimitable Hysterical Paroxysm]

Recorded music is nothing but marketing material to drive awareness of an artist

—No one ever accused Michael Arrington of being an aesthete. Or having any style whatsoever.

A very special March madness fail

It’s true. Everyone who works for Microsoft Research travels by TOTES RAD SK8BOARD and has a personal helicopter robot assistant. Those forearm socks, though, are a little too crazy futuristic.

If you’re saying that there needed to be scenes of the Internet interacting with journalism and bringing down journalism, I will now write you a scene: Interior, garden apartment anywhere. A white male, mid-30s, sits at a laptop computer in his underwear, linking to a Baltimore Sun story. He then scratches his left testicle until satisfied and continues to type commentary about that story onto his blog. Cut to drug corner, and on to the next scene.

—David Simon is clearly a huge fan of bloggers

Season 4 can’t get here soon enough